304

nowdeadbrb - is it just me that adds extra letters so i don’t seem rude like “morning” or “thank you”

 

303

Caulimovirus - Accidentally closed a browser with 20+ tabs opened ... this must be what the scholars of Alexandria felt when their great library burned

 

302

 

actatumonline - Your 30s are really just your 20s with more structure, more money, and the ability to spot people who don’t fit into your life.

301

 

Me, 21: I think having all boy roommates would be cool. Me, 39: *living with a husband and three sons* fuck

300

 

Toddler: Daddy I want toast. Me: ok, buddy. Here’s some toast. Toddler: I don’t like butter on my toast. Me: (flips toast over to the dry side and hands it back) There ya go. Toddler: Thanks Daddy! Toddlers are dumb. Take advantage of it while you can

299

 

The older I get the more I look at cartoon characters' heads & imagine how horrible the birth was

298

 

Guy: Must be hard being named after the hay Jesus was born on. Christian Bale: What?

297

 

I___Aphrodite - Saddest part about finding out someone lied to you is wondering what else they lied about

296

 

CrownsAndThings - Stop buying your children everything you wish you had growing up and start teaching them everything you wish you knew growing up

295

 

RiderofWolves - We hate each other politically but just think of the angry sex we could have



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